How To Be Single

To be completely honest I never intended to take the title of this post literally, it was supposed to be a funny-ish, semi-motivational, “what I learned whoo-hoo crap from the movie of the same name.

However, when I sat down to write this, I realized that many people really do not know how to be single and this is a problem, especially in your twenties. Don’t get me wrong being in a relationship is great but life doesn’t begin and end when you are in a relationship and I think it’s important to learn how to live and genuinely enjoy your life when you are single.

First things first

Start a relationship with you

Know yourself and allow yourself to be aware of your flaws, strengths, and weaknesses. Seriously! be honest,  are you slightly impatient? loving? shy? etc. learn how to love yourself through the process and the not so perfect things about you that you might discover.   It’s also important to learn to do things alone and actually enjoy it (it’s not a death sentence I promise).  A lot of people are scared of being alone and this sometimes pushes them into bad relationships not just romantically, but platonically as well.  A relationship doesn’t always mean you’ll be happy, you can be more miserable and lonely with someone who doesn’t have your best interest in mind than you are alone. So, learn to find happiness with yourself first before trying to find it with someone else.

Have a Life of your own (or Get one)

We (myself included) spend so much time wishing for that significant other, that person that’ll make our lives special that we forget that WE have the ability to make OUR lives special.  Yes, you’re single but life doesn’t stop, focus on your hobbies, and travel to the places you’ve wanted to go, build relationships and interesting life stories, and do the things you’ve always wanted to do.  Have a life of your own first, otherwise, you enter into a relationship and begin to live someone else’s life.

Have standards.

You should have standards on how you want to be treated in life in general, as well as in a relationship. Do not let anybody – I don’t care who they are, I don’t care if they sparkle in the frickin’ sun –   treat you less than you deserve or less than you are worth. You determine what you’re worth and YOU are worthy of love and acceptance. Have standards when it comes to your everyday relationships with other people and does not hang on to a bad relationships or friendships.

To Date or not to date?

That answer is for you to decide. Do you think you are ready for a relationship? an actual healthy relationship? do you need to take the time to find yourself? Or do you need to casually date just to figure out what you like or don’t like? This is completely up to you, you have to decide this for yourself and not go based on what works for someone else. (P.s if you’ve decided not to date check out my previous post: Books to read when you are single AF)

Enjoy this phase really.

I know it seems like it sucks to be single and you may or may not going through a “woe is me” phase but there are so many things that you can enjoy about this phase in life. Namely the fact that you can walk around in your favorite T-shirt with the holes in them and face no judgment, you can leave your socks wherever you want, never have to fight for the remote and you also get to hoard all the pillows… sounds good to me.

 

Deborah